Babies in Bars! WTF?!?!

After many hours of the day navigating around strollers, attempting to be polite as little toddlers run and scream in the grocery store and when trying to enjoy dining out as the baby next to me cries and throws food everywhere, I finally make it to a bar for some adult baby free time. Just after I order a stiff drink and sink down onto my barstool to relax, in walks a man and woman with their baby in tow! What the hell is happening, is there no escape?!?! Just when I thought I could go to the one place where a baby isn't welcomed, all of the sudden the bartender is out from behind the bar cooing over this freakin' baby. No doubt the baby is cute, as babies go, but give me a break. Seriously. Why?!?! Shouldn't this situation be frowned upon? Did something in social etiquette change when I wasn't paying attention? Well, of course the baby proceeded to cry and wail as every drunk in the place shoved their faces in it's carrying device to goo-goo, but did theses parents leave? No. And when I scoffed about it to my friend on the next barstool I was met with evil looks from just about every person in the joint, like I was the boogie man out to snatch your child and hand it off to the gypsies. Well bring it on peeps! The way I see it is until your baby can down a dry martini as a party trick, I wouldn't mind the gypsies coming around to regulate and level the playing field.

Learning to pole vault jog strollers...

On Saturday morning I went with a friend to shop at the Farmer's Market, where we go weekly to shop for various fruits and veggies. It was a beautiful day and as usual the market was busy. Navigating through the large crowd, I found it to be a bit of a challenge as I tried to select my items. I worked hard to be patient, courteous and friendly as I slowly made my way through the throngs of people who were trying to do the same thing. I understand we are all in the same boat here except for one group, mommies with jog strollers! Seriously, what is up with the enormous jog strollers everywhere where their babies have the advantage of growing from ankle biters to shin destroyers? There seemed to be an ever growing sea of them coming from all sides!!! Meandering from stall to stall had become more like a pole vaulting competition as I tried to get around these tanks with a baby nestled inside.  I even had one mother glare at me as my shopping bag accidentally grazed her precious BMW of strollers. What ever happened to the efficient collapsable strollers??? Have they gone out of vogue??? Are these jog strollers status symbols??? Or is it absolutely necessary for your baby to take up more room than three grown bi-pedal adults???! Well watch out mommies, next week I"m coming back with an old fashioned metal grocery cart, maybe with my neighbor's pit-bull 'Spike" nestled inside, and then we'll see who can be more indignant.

Non-Breeders Unite!

Being a married woman in my 30's I am constantly being bombarded by the classic question..."So, when are you going to have children??" It comes from all places at all occasions. From the parental units, from the breeder friends and even from practical strangers. Classic question or not, I feel the need to fight back as a confirmed non-breeder. I can, but I won't. Plain and simple. So I embark on this adventure to find like minds where I and other non-breeders can vent, chat about our next 'child free' vacation or to come up with clever answers to that invasive, rude and classic question: "When are you having children?' Answer for today??? When they come with a remote control with a mute and pause button.